The past few weeks (working on two months now) have definately been some of the most challenging weeks- especially mentally and emotionally. This is the first time in my life where I have been without a steady income. All through college I had some type of job, be it babysitting or waiting tables. I haven't had this much free time since summers while going to school- and even then I did a lot of baby sitting and working for my dad. This is a strange feeling for me. I have to say that my yoga classes have been a huge help. I've had to make some hard decisions and taking that hour plus to set aside for just me and really tire myself out physically to see the real issue has been wonderful.
I was offered a job in my hometown, about an hour away from where I live now. I was offered this job while waiting to hear about another job- about 20 minutes away, but nothing was official and the job wasn't even posted. I struggled about what to do, weather to take the job an hour away, or to wait it out for the other closer job. The closer job had the potential of offering me more money and also better job security. The other job in my hometown offered me a great group of people to work with in an area of science that is just starting to take off. The work would be very interesting and I could easily see myself doing the work there. The only downside... that hour drive... one way. I used my pratice as a way to really listen to my body and my gut instincts. Deep down I know that I really wanted the closer job... I felt like such a heel turning down the other job offer. I keep trying to repeat to myself to trust myself. The worst thing that can happen is that I don't get it and have to keep searching. *sigh*
In the meantime... they have posted the job, my application is in. Now the fun begins. How paitent can I be? How much trust do I have in myself? What if they change their mind? All of these doubts have been floating around for the past week. Then Monday, we had our normal yoga class and I let some of that anxiety go. Its out of my hands, I've done what I can to set myself up for sucess, now I have to wait.
While playing around with my computer, I did come across some new podcasts, or wait, are we supposed to be calling them netcasts because of Apple? Either way, I came across Elsie's Live Yoga Classes. I have done her classes both Tues and Wed of this week. I have to say, she has succeeded in kicking my ass, but in a good way. As my college roommate would say, "my everything hurts." Her classes have such energy and are forcing me to take a closer look at my position while doing the postures. I swear I can feel the muscles in my arms getting tighter already. I've been loving her podcasts.
And I have to say that I have felt more okay with my unemployment this week than I have the whole time. I really think that praticing yoga has allowed me to just let go. My normal yoga teacher has us tense up every muscle in our bodies and hold it and then quickly let it all go. Thats what I feel right now, well... with better posture.
Yoga has always intrigued me in the past and for the past few years I have "dabbled" with it through dvds and such. Its only since the spring that I've actually attended classes on a regular basis. Our teacher, Kandy, is wonderful. She reminds me of an elf, complete with the pixie haircut. She just recently got her yoga teaching certificate and has been praticing her yoga skills on us. Our class varies from week to week, but has quite a few older people with special needs. Its wonderful. The greatest thing though, is seeing the transformation in my friend's mom. She has asked my friend, "do you feel different since we started doing yoga?" It truly is amazing what yoga can do and that it truly is the best gift that you can give yourself.