Friday, May 30, 2008

Living your yoga

Yesterday I encountered two situations that could easily have ruined my day, not to mention my mood. I am shocked at how I responded to both.

Situation 1:
I stopped at the grocery store to get cash and also pick up a few items. I went to the self-checkout line and was in luck because the woman in front of me was just finishing up. I went through the process of keying in my club card and scanned my first item. And because the self-checkout lines are so anal about how they do things, you have to put it on the belt and WHOOOSH! down the belt it goes, hitting the large case of water from the women in front of me. She is in the end stages of bagging up her items and then proceeds blasts me with a bitter angry assault about how impatient I was and how I had no consideration for anyone else. I tried to make a comment about how I just had a few items- but was cut off as she continued to berate me. I went on to scan my other two items- both produce- that would have to be looked up in the system AND then weighed. The banana goes down the belt and the woman continues to spit nasty remarks at me about my impatience. I took a deep breathe and recognized that there was nothing I could do or say to change her attitude towards me. She was in a fowl bitter mood and I got in her way. Instead of letting this ruin my day, I just sat back and looked at the situation with amusement. I didn't let it bother me and was thinking of how others would react to the same situation (the first one that comes to my mind is my father. Some have described him as the emotional equivalent as a bull in a china shop. He means well, but he's also quick to fly off the handle.) I am amazed at myself for not judging, but just noticing. Accepting the things that I can not change.

Situation 2:
I got to the park early yesterday afternoon. While I was waiting for Mike to show up, I pulled my book out and read for a bit, stretched out in the grass by my car. Mike showed up, went to change and I became aware of a guy trying to teach another how to ride a motorcycle. Mike returns and we start our pre-run stretch. I hear the guy on the motorcycle teaching away and he lets the other guy on his bike. Next thing I hear is the man saying "look at what you did, you just caused a bunch of damage to that car." I look over and see the bike was dropped right next to my car. My first thought was that he bumped the side, but no worries, my Saturn has bounce resistant sides. The man asks who's car it was. I speak up and walk over to see the rear quarter panel bent and the bumper askew. The man starts apologizing and begins to dig his insurance information out. I look for pen and paper and am overcome by the sense of calm that I feel. I'm not upset, someone just hit my car and all I'm thinking is, bummer, there will be some inconvenience trying to get it fixed, is it time to start my run yet? I get his info, I can tell that he is upset that damage was done to my car and that his bike fell down- that he really would like to go off on the other person but is holding it all in and dealing with me in just a calm and polite manner. Again, another instance where I could get all worked up and start yelling and screaming- but what would I accomplish by doing that? Nothing. I continued to just go with the flow.

The guy got his bike up and drove home, mumbling how that was the end of the training session for today. Mike and I did our run, nothing fantastic- (arg, I stopped short of my 30 min goal due to a painful side stitch, but kept moving the entire time-ahimsa may be the right thing to do, but it sure can hit the ego). I called my parents to let them know and I was amused to hear that they were more worked up about it than I was. I tried to explain that I really wasn't upset and they seemed shocked by that, like how could I not be upset- someone just hit your car as you were standing right next to it.

The car for the most part is drivable- I just wouldn't take it on the highway. The wheel well is bent and rubs up against the tire to make a weird noise. The tires are pretty new so I don't want to chance ruining one so soon after getting it. I am "stuck" at home for now waiting by the phone. Oh poor me, a relaxing morning with a lazy breakfast AND my book! Oh the horror of it all! ;) I've made arrangements with work and am not worried about the cells, I have to go in tomorrow and can do what I need to do then.

I really am amazed at how yoga has infiltrated the rest of my life. Two trying situations yesterday and I didn't react to either one. Both were something I could not change and I just went with it. I really am only responsible for my actions ...
My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand.

I am learning to love that Remembrance that I picked up from Yoga Journal. It has helped me so much in trying to accept others around me. I know that whatever happens that I am truly responsible for myself and how I represent and present myself.

This yoga stuff is way deep ;)

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